Hei Hei was a big part of my move to Florida. He represented how I think we all feel about life sometimes when it gets overwhelming and upside down and scary. When we are thrown into the unfamiliar, uncomfortable and unexpected.
I mean really, Hei Hei became the poster child for us when we would start to feel the “meltdown freak outs” of ” are we really doing this?” I even taped a picture of him to my “Moving to Florida” journal.
And would you believe, we still refer to Hei Hei when referring to change on the horizon?
We were moving from everything we had ever known to someplace where we knew absolutely no one and would be starting over completely.
It was a leap of faith – we had felt God call us a full year before it was time to move and we were terrified, but we trusted God . We left without jobs and barely found a place to live before arriving to our new life but just as He has always promised, He was right there with us and gently ( and sometimes not so gently) guiding us along the way.
Fast forward to almost two years later and once again we are in a Hei Hei season. Ha! As a matter of fact, just last night my hubby had exclaimed “Honey, this feels like a Cat 5 Hei Hei!” I am not quite there (truth be told, it depends on the minute) but overwhelmed none-the-less. I have struggled in my thoughts and have had to be mindful of reminding myself to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus, that just like when we left everything behind in Texas, Jesus was right there along side of us, keeping us on track, even when it didn’t always feel like it.
2 Corinthians 12:9-11 is a verse I have clung to often in the ups and downs of life, and really sums up a rather poignant way we can grow and bear fruit in our faith.
And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for POWER is perfected in weakness. ” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake, for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
It doesn’t feel good – the weakness, the insults, the distresses, but I have noticed on my own path, that in my focus on my weakness and His strength, it somehow softens the blows that this world can bring – almost like I am in a bubble and it buffers the full sting of whatever may be hitting the fan at the time and yet refines the work that He is doing in me. It still doesn’t feel particularly great, but there is comfort in knowing that you are not in this world alone and that God can use it for your benefit and His glory.
A dear friend of mine recently took to attracting caterpillars and butterflies and giving them a place to turn into their magical selves and I loved living vicariously through her experiences! And to hear the joy of her recalling how they spent the morning watching this amazing creation happen! It reminded me that we are so much like the caterpillars in this world, being pruned and refined and restored and changed to be all that God has created us to be….made new.
The Hei Hei days can really get me down sometimes. Despite that, I have noticed that they are also laced with great nuggets of joy that God plants along our path to encourage us and remind us of his Greatness and his perfect, never changing love. I am ever so grateful that I am a daughter of a king that likes to remind me of that! The Hei Hei days keep us more reliant on our Father, and remind us that He has us and our best in mind. We may not always understand it, or why it happens the way it does but ultimately we can find blessings in our Hei Hei days.
I love that we have a Father that will scoop us up into his arms in our Hei Hei moments, and patiently, gently, remind us that He has us in the palm of His hand and love us and will be with us and that He will bless us – we just gotta keep looking to Him.
On a particularly bad day recently, I followed the breadcrumbs He left me through Facebook of all things, and this song found me. He so often speaks to me in music and this was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you Father for putting up with my Hei Hei and using it to bless me despite myself. Your love never ceases to amaze me. Selah